Each Time I Remember You
by JustSomebodyCalledMe
Summary: Sometimes thinking about a person just isn't enough. (RJ)
1. Closure

A/N: Hi everybody. I know my first story wasn't so great that's the reason  
I removed it.  
I'm trying to write a better story and here is the first chapter! I don't  
own any of these characters it all belongs to the WB network.  
I really hope you like it so please send me some reviews.  
Feedback: justsomebodycalledme@yahoo.com  
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Crazy skies all wild above me now  
Winter howling at my face  
And everything I held so dear  
Disappeared without a trace  
Oh all the times I've tasted love  
Never knew quite what I had  
Little Darling if you hear me now  
Never needed you so bad  
  
From Sail Away by David Gray.  
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Chapter 1:  
As I look back I think I knew things wouldn't work out for us.  
I hear raindrops fall on my window.  
With every drop that falls I think of her and the life that we could have  
had.  
I walk to the bedroom where I keep a picture of her, save on the bottom of  
my nightstand.  
I don't want anybody to know how much I miss her.  
I want them to think I can live life without her.  
But I can't even survive one single breath without feeling pain.  
Pain.  
It's a burden, a burden she left for me.  
I know I can't blame her for making me feel this way.  
I don't know who to blame.  
I blamed everybody back home.  
Home.  
I can't believe I call that stupid little town where everything seems so  
perfect, my home.  
I tried to run for it.  
Run from everything.  
From her, the people, the love I found there.  
But as far as I run I just can't escape it.  
I ran millions of miles but I feel like I'm running these cirkels.  
As I lay down on my bed I try to keep my head together.  
I know this would happen cause nothing good will last forever.  
I know I need closure.  
And I know where to find it.  
If I decide to go back I will mess up everything.  
Every single detail of what I did will be brought back to their memory.  
It's not fair, I can't go back.  
If I go back I would be selfish again.  
I try to fight this feeling, the feeling that I should go but there is  
nothing that can stop me.  
I need to go back.  
  
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Hey everbody, I hope you all liked the first chapter. I'm gonna update  
soon.The next chapter is going to be longer. I don't know if it's going to  
be much longer but it's gonna be a bit longer at least.  
Please send some feedback! 


	2. Moving On

A/N: Hi, I can't believe this is the second chapter already!  
I hope you liked the first part cause I didn't get any reviews....yet.  
Feedback:justsomebodycalledme@yahoo.com  
  
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The Ghost of you  
  
Has almost faded now  
You're drifting in and out of my life  
When leaves fall you'll come right back  
Cause I was yours for a little while  
You Will always be  
A Ghost that lives and breaths  
And you lay me down in reverie  
Every tear that falls  
Remember me.  
From Ghost by EastMountainSouth  
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Chapter 2:  
My life has never been the same since he left.  
I always thought it would.  
I miss him.  
I know that much.  
I miss him like you would miss the sun when it stops shining.  
Or like the moon in a bright night.  
But I can't miss him anymore.  
It's been too long.  
6 years is too long.  
If I would see him again, things would never go back to the way they were.  
They probably change for the worst.  
As I walk through this little town I realize that this is my last day here.  
The last day I live here, the last day before I go to that big city where  
everything and everybody live there own lives and not care about others.  
I'm gonna miss this little town.  
I have so many memories here.  
But I have to.  
I need some closure but I know I can't find it here,  
I need to go.  
As I wander through the streets of this little town called Stars Hollow, I  
walk behind all the places that means most to me.  
I'm not sure I can leave it.  
The bridge, Luke's Diner.  
Everything.  
It means so much.  
As I walk to the bus station the next morning I see Luke and my mom waving  
at me.  
I'm fighting back my tears.  
I know my mom does the same, but I also know that she can't control them.  
As soon as I steped on the bus I knew I was right cause when I look through  
my window I see my mom crying on Luke's shoulder.  
I know everything will work out for the two of them.  
They love each other, everybody sees that.  
I think they know that too.  
The bus starts driving and my vision gets blurry again.  
I see the picture of Luke holding my mom fading away.  
I know I'll find my closure.  
I also know that I'll never be able to forget him.  
The one that still owns my heart, even though I gave it to somebody else.  
Somebody who is waiting for me in a place I am starting to call home.  
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Feedback: justsomebodycalledme@yahoo.com 


	3. Back Again

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. I already received 2.  
I will try to write longer chapters.  
English is not my first language so there may be mistakes in the story.  
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Fallen"  
  
Heaven bent to take my hand  
And lead me through the fire  
Be the long awaited answer  
To a long and painful fight  
  
Truth be told I've tried my best  
But somewhere along the way  
I got caught up in all there was to offer  
And the cost was so much more than I could bear  
  
Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so...  
  
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Chapter 3:  
I still don't know if I'm doing the right thing.  
I've been there.  
In the town I call home.  
I talked to my uncle and to the mother of the women that I've loved.  
And I still love even though I will never admit it to anyone.  
They were shocked to see me.  
I know they pretended not to, but I saw it.  
I know I can't find what I'm looking for with Luke and Lorelai.  
I also know where to find it.  
It's with her.  
It's the hardest thing I've ever did.  
This time I'm not going to run.  
This time I have to face the things I did.  
This time I have to face her.  
I'm not sure if I can put up with it.  
I'm afraid she's able to capture me, like she did before.  
Maybe things will not be that bad.  
Maybe she will not turn away from me and maybe she is going to forgive me  
for the things I did to her.  
I see the raindrops falling on the window of the bus.  
My thoughts wander to her and to the time we had together.  
But I have to stop it cause I have to stay strong.  
I look outside my bedroom window and see the sky letting her tears fall  
down.  
I want to cry too but I don't know why.  
I'm glad to have Alex.  
I love him but I also need to see the guy who stole my heart years ago.  
I know that if I talked to him things would change forever.  
There's knocking on my door and when I open it, it feels like I'm  
paralyzed.  
There he is, standing at my door.  
All soaken wet.  
I don't know what I'm doing.  
When I come back to my sences again I realize that we are holding each  
other as close as possible.  
I was stunned to see him again.  
All I could do was invite him in.  
And he accepted it.  
I know now that it was not a good idea.  
Because now I know that when I asked him and he accepted I let him in my  
life again, I knew that he still has my heart and that it never left him.  
There she was, standing in the doorway.  
I didn't know what to say.  
The only thing that came to my mind was to say "hi"  
Before I knew it her arms flew around me and I felt my body weakening as I  
felt her all around me.  
The only thing that seemed right at that moment was just holding her.  
When she invited me in I wanted to refuse.  
But a little voice inside my head told me to accept,  
After all she was the reason I came.  
There he is, sitting on my couch, in my living room.  
"What are you doing here?" I ask him.  
I know this question would come, I just didn't know it would come so fast.  
"I don't know"  
"You can't just come here after 6 years and turn my life upside down. I  
accepted it. You left because of me and I dealed with that. I just wish  
that..."  
"No, I never left because of you. You were the only reason I wanted to  
stay. But I couldn't. I chocked in that town, I started to feel home and I  
was afraid that when I would dare to call it my home it would be taken away  
from me"  
"Right. What do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that I understand  
that you left without saying a word, without letting anybody know."  
I feel tears forming in the corner of my eyes, but I have to stay strong.  
I can't show him how much I want him near me.  
But I can't get hurt again, I won't allow him to come near me.  
I have a life now.  
A life I started by myself and a life of which I'm glad to have.  
He's approching to me, I know that if he comes one step closer I won't be  
able to control myself.  
But I have to, I have Alex, I need to stay strong for him.  
For us.  
I see the tears forming in the corner of her eyes.  
I want to hold her but I'm not sure she let me.  
I come a little bit closer and she doesn't back away.  
I gently put one arm around her and when she tries to push me away I won't  
let her.  
I hold her close to me and she still tries to put me away.  
I try to put him away but he won't let me.  
The tears I was fighting so hard stream down my face.  
I try one more time to push him away but when he starts talking to me I get  
totally lost in his touch.  
"I'm so sorry for hurting you the way I did, I never meant for it to  
happen"  
There we are standing in the middle of the living room holding each other  
as tight as we possibly can.  
I know I have to let her go but I can't.  
My body is clinging to hers, and maybe that ,deep inside, she doesn't want  
to let me go either.  
Maybe, just deep inside of her.  
I feel her tears falling down on my chest, I wish I could take them away  
for her.  
I wish it so bad.  
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Feedback: justsomebodycalledme@yahoo.com 


	4. Author's Note

A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to update again. But I'm having kind of a writers block. I'm working on it~!!! 


	5. A Magic Night

A/N: Hi everybody, sorry it took me so long! I hop you all gonna like it.  
Please keep sending reviews it inspires me to write a story.  
Feedback: justsomebodycalledme@yahoo.com  
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I watch the heavens and I find a calling  
Something I can do to change this moment  
Stay close to me while the sky is falling  
Don't wanna be left alone,  
don't wanna be alone  
- World on Fire by Sarah McLachlan.  
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Chapter 4:  
It's been only yesterday since I stood at her door.  
I felt my body weakening as soon as I saw her.  
I thought I didn't love her anymore.  
Well not as much as I used to do  
But now I know that isn't true.  
I do love her, more then I ever did.  
I know she will never feel the same for me, she probably never did.  
And I don't blame her.  
Why am I so nervous?  
It's just Jess.  
A guy who I haven't seen in 6 years.  
A guy who knows me, really knows me.  
I don't know if I still love him.  
I guess not...  
I can't! I can not love him anymore.  
I accepted the things that happend and I'm over him  
I even have a new boyfriend and he is the one I love and always will love.  
I sit down on my couch.  
These days are cold and lonely lately.  
I don't know why, maybe it's because the rain just doesn't stop falling.  
I remember him standing in my doorway all soaken wet, looking hurt and  
troubled just like he did 6 years ago when he stood in my bedroom.  
When he held me I realized how much I really missed him.  
If he stayed one second longer I don't think I would've been able to  
control myself.  
It's strange, after such a long time he can still have that impact on me.  
I wish to linger in my thoughts a little bit longer but I can't.  
I have to visit him and tell him that he can't stay longer.  
When I walk to my door and open it I know that I don't have to visit him  
anymore...  
He's visiting me.  
"Hi"  
"There you are again"  
"If you want me to leave I'll be gone in a second"  
"No it's okay. I need to talk to you. Please come in"  
"Thanks. You wanted to talk to me?"  
"Yeah, uhmm I don't know where to start. You can't just come into my life,  
6 years after you disappeared without letting anybody know"  
"I kn..."  
"I build a life. I said goodbye to that stupid town and I said goodbye to  
the memories I have there. I left them all behind and now your comming back  
into my life and everything gets messed up again. I have a boyfriend his  
name is Alex and I love him! I love him I do!"  
"You don't have to convince me that you love him, I believe you love him. I  
only came to talk to you cause I need to move on. I can't linger in  
thoughts and memories of what we might have had. I can't do that...not  
anymore. You moved on and I'm glad you did but now it's time for me to do  
the same and I need your help with that."  
"I don't think I can put up with that Jess, I don't know if I can. I'm  
sorry"  
"I'm not asking you to give me a second chance or make everything right. I  
only want things to be right again."  
With every step he's taking towards me I feel my body weaken.  
I have to stop him.  
"Jess, you..."  
"Don't say anything"  
And then he kissed me.  
It wasn't a kiss full of desperation, it was a kiss full of passion and  
love.  
I feel myself slowly responding to his kisses.  
This is what I want, this is what I need right now.  
I pull him closer to me and linger in his touch.  
He lifts me up and carries me slowly to my bedroom.  
We never break away from our kiss.  
I want him more then ever.  
He lays me gently down on my bed and we slowly undress.  
I know I probably regret this tomorrow, but I don't care right now.  
When he comes to me I whisper his name and she the moonlight shining upon  
his bare skin.  
This is how it's suppose to be, this is how I want it to be.  
When I fall asleep later that night my fingers are entwined with his.  
I'm not able to sleep that night, afraid that if I wake up she's gone.  
I watch her sleep, so peacefully, so beautiful.  
Everything's perfect now.  
The night is like magic.  
There are stars shining bright but yet there is a thunder comming up.  
Everything about this night is magic, not only the stars.  
I am not able to control my tiredness anymore.  
I give up the fight and fall in a long peacefull dream, still hoping that  
tomorrow will not be as bad as I think it will be.  
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Feedback: justsomebodycalledme@yahoo.com 


	6. Author's Note 2

Note: Hi everybody, I already updated chapter 5 but I wasn't completly  
satisfied with it but I decided to update anyway. When I got a review they  
told me exactly what I was thinking. I removed the chapter and I'm writing  
a new one now. I am still working on the other chapter and maybe it will  
work out anyway. I will probably change the story line a bit but I hope it  
will work out anyway.  
Please keep the reviews comming. As you see they are a really big support  
on my writing.  
Thanks everone!  
Feedback: justsomebodycalledme@yahoo.com 


	7. Forever In My Heart

A/N: Sorry it took me so long, I have the flew you see.  
But I didn't want to keep you waiting too long so I've decided to write the  
story anyway.  
I hope you like it, to be honest I think it turned out pretty good, I hope  
you feel the same way.  
Feedback: justsomebodycalledme@yahoo.com  
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Take these roses all from me  
Let me live, let me be  
For a little while  
Let my eyes,  
See everything and nothing in their time  
I do not mind  
  
Who've guess I'd learn  
To let the walls around me burn  
Light up the hillside  
My words, I ate them for so long and nothing changed  
It was just the same  
  
And I don't know if you see me  
But I can tell you your face is clear  
I will see you...  
  
Forever  
-Forever by Vertical Horizon.  
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Chapter 5:  
I don't know when I started loving her.  
I can't remember the exact moment.  
She just came into my life.  
She told me everything there was to know about her in only a week of time.  
About her life in that little crazy town, about her first boyfriend Dean.  
She also told me about her crazy mom and her controlling grandmother.  
There was just something about her that she wasn't telling me,  
something deep and dark that she hardly told anyone.  
I still don't know what it is.  
I can tell she is hurt, but she is not able to tell me why.  
I wish I could take the pain away from her...  
Maybe she lost somebody she was close to in her past.  
  
I hate being away from her, it's like the world stopped turning.  
It will be only one night, one cold and lonely night without her.  
When I come back I have a surprise for her.  
I want to make her my wife, I want us to start a little family.  
She doesn't know, maybe she suspects something.  
I think about her all the time, about what she's doing, what she wears,  
anything.  
I called her a couple of times but she didn't pick up the phone, maybe she  
went to see her mom or something.  
I really like her mom.  
She's a bit freaky but I can deal with it.  
I used to hate people who are doing crazy things and can't seem to be  
normal.  
But since I met Rory I don't care.  
She learned me a lot.  
I wouldn't survive if she'd ever leave me.  
  
The last 2 days have been terrible.  
We fought, we fought all day long.  
I blamed her, she blamed me.  
We both said things we never would've said if the situation was different.  
I hurt her, again.  
The things she said hurt me too but I know she is right.  
What was I thinking?  
That when I would kiss her everything would be perfect again?  
That the things that happend, never happend at all?  
I never left her appartment since our night togheter.  
I wanted to but the days turned into nights and all we did was fight.  
I guess we are avoiding each other now, she hasn't been out of her bedroom  
for a day now.  
I don't know what I'm still doing here.  
It's time for me to say goodbye, to go back where I came from, to leave  
everything and everyone alone.  
I made a mistake and I know that now.  
Things are so messed up now and all I can do is run again.  
But this time I have no choice.  
I gather all my stuff and start packing.  
It's time for me to leave.  
  
What have I done?  
I said things that I never meant to say.  
I want to think about something else then him, but I can't seemed to think  
of anything or anybody else.  
Alex...my mind wanders to him every once in a while but I can't get a hold  
of that thought.  
I hear him packing his stuff.  
My world starts turning in slow motion when I hear him opening the door.  
I don't want him to leave, even though I know it's for the best.  
He's leaving and I don't know what to do.  
I look outside my window and see the sun between the dark clouds, and  
everything is clear to me.  
I start to run for the door but I feel like I can't move my legs.  
When I arrive in the living room, he's gone.  
I let him go, I made him go.  
He left and it is all my fault.  
Now he will never know how I feel.  
  
I wait for another second.  
Maybe she doesn't want me to leave, I know I'm just fooling myself.  
She has a good life and she doesn't need me in it.  
I softly close the door behind me, the sweet memory of our night together  
still clear in my mind.  
I can steel feel her, taste her, even smell her.  
The scent she left behind for me, causing me to want her even more.  
But I know I can never have her.  
It's time to leave.  
Leave this city, leave her world and go back to my own.  
I will never forget everything we ever had.  
As I walk through the streets of this big city I feel her picture in my  
pocket.  
It is the picture I kept safe so long.  
The picture I kept from the rest of the world.  
I take another good look at it and let the wind take it away.  
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	8. I Am Lost Without You

A/N: First of all, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! Second of all...I'm sorry it  
took me such a long time to write this chapter. I'm not completly satisfied  
with it but it's the best what I could do. I'm sorry if I let you down!  
Please keep sending me feedback...I haven't received very much but it  
really helps me writing this story. Thank you!  
Feedback: justsomebodycalledme@yahoo.com  
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I wish I had what I need , to be on my own  
'Cause I feel so defeated  
And I'm feeling alone, And it all seems so helpless  
And I have no plans, I'm a plane in the sunset  
With nowhere to land  
Let me know that You hear me  
Let me know Your touch  
Let me know that You love me  
Let that be enough  
-Let that be Enough by Switchfoot  
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Chapter 6:  
Alex is comming home today, the man I belong to.  
But my heart doesn't, my heart belongs to someone who I've pushed away.  
Since he left my days hasn't been the same, I spend every hour in my bed  
where memories rest.  
I rest with them, unable to let them go.  
I miss him so much, he left and the only one to blame is me.  
The door opens and I struggle for a second, maybe he came back!  
But then I remember that Alex is comming home and I lay down again.  
He enters my room and I pretend to be asleep.  
  
"Hey sweety, are you awake?"  
"Mmmh? You woke me!"  
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to, don't I get a hello kiss"  
  
He kisses me and I let him.  
His kisses are nothing like Jess'  
I need to focus, I can't be with Alex and at the same time think of Jess.  
I break away from the kiss Alex is giving me.  
  
"Are you okay? You seem a little distracted"  
"No I'm fine, I guess I'm getting a cold or something"  
"Oh okay, I need to ask you something...I..."  
"Can we do that later, I want to take a shower and I need to do grocery  
shopping"  
"Oh okay"  
  
I have to leave, I'm so tired of being here  
Your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone  
There is so much you left behind.  
Everything I see or touch reminds me of you.  
You have been gone for a week now.  
The pain you left for me won't seem to disappear.  
This pain is just too real, time cannot erase it.  
Alex knows something is wrong but I can't bring up the courage to tell him.  
I love him, Alex I mean.  
But there is somebody else who still has me, all of me.  
I gather my stuff and leave my appartment, along with everything I built  
there.  
I leave Alex and my life, all for one man.  
  
She just left.  
When I came home from work she was gone.  
There were no clothes left of her and everything that she needs she took  
with her.  
I tried to reach her.  
I called her mother, her cell phone, all her friends.  
But nobody seems to know where she went.  
I will find, I'll do anything in my power to find her.  
I have a feeling how and where I can find her, but I'm gonna need some  
help.  
I leave to go to the small town where she lived all her life.  
I know I can find my answer there. 


	9. Here Without You

A/N: HAPPY NEWYEAR EVERYBODY! I'm sorry this is such a short chapter! The  
next one is going to be longer, maybe the next chapter will be the last  
chapter but I'm not quit sure.  
Feedback: justsomebodycalledme@yahoo.com  
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A hundred days had made me older  
since the last time that I saw your pretty face  
A thousand lights had made me colder  
and I don't think I can look at this the same  
I'm here without you baby  
but your still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
and I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
but your still with me in my dreams  
-Here Without You by 3 Doors Down  
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Chapter 7:  
It's been a week and a couple of days now since I left her alone in her  
apartment.  
It's been a week and a couple of days since i wanderd around the streets of  
the city she calls home.  
It's been a week since I returned to this miserable place.  
My room has been dark from the moment I entered it.  
There isn't enough light to light it up.  
I have been sitting here for three or four days and the only light I see is  
the light of the moon.  
During the days I sleep, trying to make this life shorter.  
During the nights all I can do is stare, stare at anything that keeps my  
mind of her.  
What can I do to make that happen?  
What does it takes to keep her of my mind?  
  
Am I doing the right thing?  
That's the only question that is going through my mind lately.  
There is nothing to calm me down, not a person to find comfort with or a  
friendly stranger where I can poor my heart out.  
The only thing that calms me down is the rain falling down to the window of  
the bus where I'm sitting in.  
The bus that will lead me to the person I love and need.  
As I see the city lights getting closer and closer every minute, I start  
feeling nervous.  
Every minute I'm getting closer to him and every minute my heart starts to  
beat louder.  
  
This is the first time I see the world so different.  
It's the first time I know that I lost her.  
No that's wrong, I didn't lost her cause I never had her.  
The pain she felt when he left, I didn't understand when they told me about  
him, but now I know I lost her long ago and I can't seem to understand why  
she still longs for him.  
I don't understand why you love somebody after they just leave you, why you  
still love somebody after everything he or she put you through.  
I can't lose her and especially not to somebody who doesn't love her for  
real.  
Her mother understood that I can't give up without a fight.  
She told me where I could probably find them.  
Them.  
God I hate that word, it makes two people so bonded.  
And now I'm using it for the woman I love.  
It's up to me now, I have to make things "okay" between me and her.  
I can't let some loser come between us.  
  
It's a beautiful place.  
I have no idea where I am.  
When I came off the bus I just walked in a direction.  
And here I am, sitting in a bench, in a park somewhere in a city.  
I look up to the sky and see the most beautiful stars.  
People probably think I'm insane to think that these stars are different  
then other stars, but they are.  
Maybe it's this night or maybe it's this moment.  
I don't know.  
I know I have to visit him cause I can't stay in the cold all night, but I  
just can't bring up the courage.  
I came this far so I have to finish it.  
I slowly rise from the bench I'm sitting on and start to walk in a  
direction of which I don't know if it is the right one.  
Maybe I'll never find him in this godforsaken city, maybe if I find him he  
won't be able to forgive him...  
If only I could turn back time.  
The stars that were standing so bright at the sky tonight, dissapeared  
completely.  
The only way to discribe the sky is to say that it turned into one big  
black blanket.  
Things are going to chance and I've got a feeling it won't be for the  
better.  
______________________________________________________________  
Feedback: justsomebodycalledme@yahoo.com 


	10. Desire

A/N: Hi everybody, sorry it took me so long to update...This is kind of a  
short chapter and the end is sudden. I had a writers block and this was the  
best way I could think of to end the story.So don't expect too much of this  
chapter cause I'm not completly satisfied. (I think it started great but I  
think the end is crappy) Please Review!!!  
Feedback: justsomebodycalledme@yahoo.com  
______________________________________________________________  
Two hearts fading, like a flower  
And All this waiting for the power  
For some answer to this fire  
Sinking slowly, waters higher  
Umm desire, desire  
- Desire by Ryan Adams  
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Chapter 8:  
There is this crazy feeling that's getting to me.  
Sleep doesn't seem to get me, everytime I close my eyes I see her face.  
GOD! I hate this feeling.  
There is some knocking on my door, probably the neighbor.  
I still don't know his name, I never bothered to ask him.  
When I came here I never made any kinds off contacts, I didn't need them  
and I still don't need them.  
Why would anybody care about any of my problems?  
I wished that the neighbor would just leave.  
I wish that everybody would leave, that they just let me be.  
But after a couple of minutes there is knocking again.  
Maybe it's important.  
I slowly start to walk to the door not knowing who to find there.  
When I open my door it is me who is paralyzed.  
  
Me legs feel so heavy, if I take one step closer to his door I probably go  
through the ground and end up on the other side of the world.  
After standing in front of his door for a while, I find the courage to  
knock on it.  
He doesn't answer.  
Maybe he saw it was me and decided not to open.  
He's probably not even home...it's better if I just leave.  
  
"Hello miss, can I help you?"  
"Uhm...no I'm fine"  
"Are you looking for the man who lives here? If you are, I don;t think he's  
going to open this door. He's been in there for a week now and he didn't  
come out once. He's probably just a fool in love and I don't even know that  
much about him. There are a lot of rumors going around about him. They say  
he killed somebody, others say that left the one person he truly loved, off  
course there are also the rumors that he is some kind of stupid moron. I  
still don't know what to believe. I think he is a great kid but that he  
just has been through a lot. You see cause..."  
"Thank you mister."  
"Oh I'm sorry miss, the fact is you see that once I start talking I won't  
shut up anymore. It's always been that way even since....I'm doing it  
again, right?"  
"Yes."  
  
I don't know what kind of nonsense the man is talking about.  
Maybe the man is right, maybe he is home and just doesn't want anybody to  
bother him.  
The man is still talking to me, I have no idea what he's talking about.  
  
"...all you have to do is just knock a little bit harder"  
  
I don't care what the man is doing, not even when I realize he knocked the  
door for me.  
He isn't home anyway so why bother?  
It only takes me a second to realize I was wrong.  
The door swings open and there he is.  
Standing in the doorway looking at me.  
I think he is stunned to see me, just as I am stunned to see him  
I know I should have expected this since I am the one who is visiting him,  
but still.  
There is something I didn't expect to find.  
His neighbor is still talking to me but I don't pay any attention until he  
leaves and I snap out of my thoughts.  
He's still looking at me, confused, happy, maybe at some point even angry.  
I can't figure out what he's thinking, maybe I don't want to know after  
all.  
I have to say something...  
  
"Hi"  
"Hi"  
"I'm sorry...I shouldn't have come"  
  
She's leaving just as quickly as she came...I gotta do something.  
___________________________________________________________________________  
Feedback: justsomebodycalledme@yahoo.com 


	11. I Love You

A/N: Hi everybody this is the final chapter. I hope you'll like it. I've  
been working on a new story. I've already updated one chapter of that story  
and soon there will be another one.  
Feedback: justsomebodycalledme  
______________________________________________________________  
  
I have a smile  
Stretched from ear to ear  
To see you walking down the road  
We meet at the lights  
I stare for a while  
The world around disappears  
Let me surround you  
My sea to your shore  
Let me be the calm you seek  
- I Love You By Sarah McLachlan  
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Chapter 9:  
  
I've been wondering around in a city I don't know too long.  
How could I've been so foolish?  
How could I believe that he would actually be happy to see me?  
The world starts to turn dark again, I'm not sure why.  
Everything has been blurry to me the moment I left that appartment  
building.  
Is night comming again or is there a storm comming up.  
Maybe it's both.  
As soon as I feel raindrops falling down on me, I know my answer.  
The rain is so loud I can't hear a thing.  
Suddenly I hear a voice behind me...  
  
"Why did you came back?"  
  
I turn around to face him  
  
"It's not important anymore"  
"It is to me"  
"It doesn't matter anymore, time has passed and I...you...we have to go on  
with our lives. We can't stay stuck in a lost moment. I love you, I  
probably always have and always will have. Even now I have Alex, a man  
who's willing to give me anything, and I just left him because of you.  
Because I couldn't stay away, because I am weak. Everytime I see you, touch  
you, even talk or listen to you I get lost in thoughts that I'm not suppose  
to think. It has always been that way, with Dean with Alex. Even with my  
former boyfriends, I always compared them to you."  
  
I didn't mean to say that...Why did I say that?  
I feel tears streaming down my face and this time I don't want him to see  
them.  
I don't think he is able to see them cause I am soaken wet.  
I just wish he says something.  
  
"I didn't mean to...I'm sorry..i'd better go"  
"No! Rory wait! It's okay...It's okay"  
  
I slowly leaned into her and let my lips softly touch hers.  
Her lips slowly respond to my actions.  
Why didn't I stayed with her a day longer?  
When I pull away from our kiss I see that she was crying.  
  
"You don't have to cry. When you stood at my door this morning I wasn't  
quit sure why you ca..."  
  
So that's him, the guy who broke her heart and stepped on it.  
How could she do this to me, I saw them. They kissed and I heard her  
rambling.  
I don't know what they are saying but I'm sure it will be pretty corny. I  
can't stand this any longer. I have to do something.  
I have to fight for her.  
She is standing so close to him and he is holding her so close.  
As I walk up to them I yelled that he has to stay away from her.  
I can see at the look of her face she is shocked by my appearance.  
  
"How could you do this to me? I love you"  
"Alex I..."  
"I wanted to give you everything...I wanted to make you my wife. I've  
always known something was bothering you and when I came back from my  
bussiness trip I realized something was wrong. But when I tried to propose  
you just walked away and never came back. I did everything to find you, I  
went to see your mother, I questioned her when she told me about him. I  
asked myself: Could the woman I love lie to me? Could she?  
Well I guess you can."  
"Alex listen to me...I never meant for this to happen...it just did. It's  
not that I don't love you but..."  
"Let me guess you just love him more. That may be the case now but what if  
he is going to crash your heart again? Then what?  
Are you going to sit around and wait that one day he will come back just  
like you did before? Yes I know! Your mother told me everything."  
  
The guy is right, I've hurt her.  
What if everything he says is true?  
What if I do end up hurting her all over again?  
I'll screw up just like I always do.  
  
"Rory...maybe he's right"  
"What?"  
"He's right. What if I do end up hurting you again...is all the pain you  
went through worth to relive again? Cause my first guess is that that is  
what is going to happen"  
"Jess you're not going to hurt me and maybe you do...but I am willing to  
take that risk"  
"I can't believe you! First you are telling me that you do love me but him  
too and now you're breaking up with me like this? You could at least have  
the guts to tell me personaly without him laughing at me."  
  
1 year later:  
  
That's the last thing I heard him say.  
That's the last time I saw him.  
Whatever happend after that fight a year ago I don't exactly remember...  
All I know is that Jess held me.  
He held me so tight that I knew he wasn't going to let go of me.  
We danced under the stars that night.  
It might be selfish but I never felt so good then I did that night.  
I'm still with him and I love him even more then I ever did before.  
We want to take it slow, one step at the time.  
But I don't really see the need in that, I know he is my one and I know he  
always will be.  
The thought that he might hurt me still scares him sometimes, I can tell.  
I have to get ready cause when he comes home I have to tell him something.  
I hear the door open and I know it is time to tell the news I've been  
willing to give him.  
I kiss him and he looks at me the same way he always does.  
  
"Are you ready for some big news?"  
"Bring it on"  
"I'm pregnant"  
  
___________________________________________________________________________  
  
So this was it...it's finally done. Please send some feedback:  
justsomebodycalledme@yahoo.com 


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